What has in Common in the Relationships of the Adolescents with the Authoritative Parents and Their Close Friend?

Introduction

Authoritative parents are high in responsiveness and demandingness and exhibit more supportive than harsh behaviors. Authoritative parents encourage verbal give and take, convey the reasoning behind rules, and use reason, power, and shaping to reinforce objectives. This parenting style is most often associated with positive adolescent outcomes and has been found to be the most effective and beneficial style of parenting among most families. It is well established that authoritative parenting fosters adolescents’ positive well-being¹. Adolescents with authoritative parents are less prone to externalizing behaviors, and specifically are less likely to engage in drug use than individuals with uninvolved parents². Recent findings show that positive effects of authoritative parenting are amplified when both parents engage in an authoritative parenting style³. Findings from this study suggest that the authoritative parenting style is associated with the lowest levels of depression and the highest levels of school commitment among adolescents. This study also indicated that having at least one authoritative parent fosters better outcomes than family parenting styles that do not include an authoritative parent. In another study, adolescents whose parents are both authoritative or whose mother alone is authoritative report higher well-being, such as higher self-esteem and life-satisfaction, than participants with no authoritative parent⁴. Similarly, researchers controlled for several mother-related variables and found that having an authoritative father was associated with positive outcomes among adolescents⁵. These research findings suggest that regardless of gender of the parent, the presence of even one authoritative parent is beneficial for adolescent outcomes.

Interestingly, researchers found that monitoring varies among parenting styles. Researchers found that authoritative parents exhibit higher levels of parental monitoring during their child’s childhood and slight decreases across adolescence⁶. These findings suggest that authoritative parents somewhat relinquish their monitoring in response to adolescents’ increasing demands for independent decision-making.

Keywords: Adolescent – is a young man who is experiencing the process of development and conversion from one child to one adult.

Authoritativ parenting style – is a parental style characterized by respectable and responsible parents; as well as from an approach that puts the child in the center, to which they exhibit high expectations but at the same time give importance to what he feels.

Close friend - can be defined as a person with whom you can talk everything, that makes you feel comfortable, not frightened and judged. Also, it may be an ever-present person in your life, willing to take care of your well-being.

The Methodology / the Sample:

This study is a mix one, because it is both quantitative and qualitative.

It’s conducted at first with 25 pupils (the questionnaire) and then with only 15 of them (the interview) in the public middle school “Jordan Misja” of Shkodra (Albania), in april 2018.

The Methodology / the Questionnaire “What’s Your Parenting Style” (Active Parenting Publishers):

The questionnaire is divided into two parts with 15 statements each.

Part I is designed to help the identifying of the beliefs about parenting.

Part II is focused on the current home situation.For each statement there is a scale of agreement 1 to 5, that corresponds to the level of agreement:

1 - strongly disagree

2.- disagree;

3.- neutral;

4.- agree

5 - strongly agree

Autocratic beliefs score: statements 2+4+8+12+13

Permissive beliefs score: statements 1+5+7+11+15

Authoritative beliefs score: statements 3+6+9+10+14

Autocratic actions score: statements 17+19+22+24+28

Permissive actions score: statements 16+20+23+25+29

Authoritative actions score: statements 18+21+26+27+30

Beliefs Actions Combined:

Autocratic ___ + ___ = ___

Permissive ___ + ___ = ___

Authoritative ___ + ___ = ___

The highest combined score suggests the style of parenting that the adolescent’s parents are currently using.

The Methodology / the Interview “What Characteristics Have in Common the Relationships of the Adolescents with the Authoritative Parents and Their Close Friend?”:

The interview contains 6 opend questions:

1 – With which of your parents you are more affiliated?

2 – What do you appreciate more about him/her? (not less than 3 qualities)

3 – Which are some of the characteristics of your relationship with your affiliated parent?

4 – How long do you know your close friend?

5 – What do you appreciate more about him/her? (not less than 3 qualities)

6 – Which are some of the characteristics of your relationship with your close friend?

7 – Based on what we said above, what do you think that have in common your relationship with your affiliated parent and your relationship with your close friend? (not less than 3 characteristics)

I have taken in consideration the Keywords that have been repeted 3 or more times by the respondents, because the questions request not less than 3 characteristics.

Results of the Study

Graph 1.

Concerned to the interview, the answers of to the respondents are generally nouns and verbs phrases , in some cases descriptive affirmative sentences.

They are clear, understandable and express specific thoughts for what is required.

It seems to be no ambiguity or variation for interpretations.

Tab.1

Respondents' answers to the second question describe what appreciate more to the authoritative parent with wich are more affiliated.

All respondents' responses are grouped into 5 keywords.

Below is presented what summarizes each key word based on respondents' responses:

Respondents' answers to the third question describe the characterstics of their relationship with the authoritative parent with wich are more affiliated.

All respondents' responses are grouped into 3 keywords.

Below is presented what summarizes each key word based on respondents' responses:

Tab.2

Respondents' answers to the fifth question describe what appreciate more to their closed friend.

All respondents' responses are grouped into 4 keywords.

Below is presented what summarizes each key word based on respondents' responses:

Tab.3

Respondents' answers to the sixth question describe the characterstics of their relationship with the closed friend.

All respondents' responses are grouped into 3 keywords.

Below is presented what summarizes each key word based on respondents' responses:

Tab.4

Now, I am presenting below a summary of the using keywords by the 15 respondents:

Tab.5

Discussion & Conclusions

Referring to the graph 1. we can notice that:

Dominate the adolescents with authorative parents (15; that have conducted the inreview), then come them with autoctratic parents (6) and finally come them with permissive parents (4).

Referring to table 1. we can notice that:

The adolescents describe their affiliated authoritative parent as a person that mainly:

can trust in him/her

what he/she says is consistent with what he/she does

does not want to know more than it is

is lovely

is positively

is coherent

when they fall, he/she encourages them to fight for what they want

has positive expections for their future

appreciates their future plans

Referring to table 2. we can notice that:

The adolescents describe their relationship with their affiliated authoritative parent in this way:

they continue to feel his/her affection even when they are wrong

he/she still cares about them even when they are wrong

he/she respects their way of perceiving things

he/she does not impose in what they mean

he/she is always there for them

he/she does not take away from them when the fall

Referring to table 3. we can notice that:

The adolescents describe their closed friend as a person that mainly:

keeps secrets

does not betray them

is kindness

is positively

is honest

respects their limits

encourages them

never gives up

Referring to table 4. we can notice that:

The adolescents describe their relationship with their closed friend in this way:

he/she forgives them when they are wrong

listens to them whenever they need to talk

does not judge what they say

understands them always

is a shoulder to stand always on it

helps them to solve their problems

Referring to table 5. we can notice that:

The adolescents have a closed relationship with their best friend from relatively 2-3 years and more.

The adolescents appreciate more about their parents the fact that they are believable, correct, affectionate, persistent and have good expects for them.

The adolescents appreciate more about their relationship with their parents that it’s characterized by good communication, love despite the mistakes and continuous supporting.

The adolescents appreciate more about their closed friend the fact that he/she is believable, affectionate, correct and persistent.

The adolescents appreciate more about their relationship with their parents that it’s characterized by love despite the mistakes, good communication and continuous supporting.

By comparing results of questions 2 and 5 and 3 and 6, we can see that the adolescents have said almost the same characteristics but aligned in different way. We don’t know exactly if they are aligned in different way by their importance for them or randomly thinking at the moment.

By comparing results of questions 2 and 5, we understand that the authoritative parents of the adolscents and their closed friend have a lot in common, but the most important characteristic in common is ‘believable’ (aligned first in the two cases).

By comparing results of questions 3 and 6, we understand that the relationships between adolscents with their authoritative parents and also with their closed friend have a lot in common too, but the less important characteristic in common seems to be ‘continous supporting’ (aligned third in the two cases).

Based on the existence of the common positive characteristics and almost the same appreciated ones, we can conclude that the authoritative parents influence positively the relationship between the adoleshents and their closed friend.

Recommendations

Based on the positive relationship that the adolescents have with their authoritative parent and its positive influence on selecting a close friend with positive features and building a friendly relationship for the benefit of the adolescent, we can give some advices to the authoritarian and tolerant parents:

Try to make effective communication with your children, based on freedom, respect and understaning.

Try to put rules together with your children and give them always love, whether they fail or succeed.

Try to leave the needed space tp the children to be self-evident and motivated them to express what they feel and think, without imposing them.

Try to be a positive model for them in communication, attitudes and behaviors, so they will have a valid model where to base on choosing people with whom will stay close during their life.

References